There are numerous barriers to interpersonal connection, and at Heartspace Rising, we’re here to show you the possibilities available to you when you’re looking to build new relationships…and you can join us this month for a Heartspace Rising Coffee Chat on Friday, January 26th, 2024, from10:00-11:10am PST on Zoom.

Why kick off the New Year with a Coffee Chat addressing barriers to interpersonal connection? Because here at Heartspace Rising, so many women come to us in January with a deep desire to forget authentic connections for the year ahead. What about you? What kind of relationships are you calling into your life in 2024?

Join me and up to 6 other truth-seekers in this free Zoom call for an intimate coffee gathering modeled after my group coaching program, Play Ground Love. Experience the power of small group connection as we walk courageously toward belonging.

We'll explore the top obstacles that hold us back from trust and meaningful connections - like lacking energy, confidence and communication skills - and set action plans for breaking through barriers. I'll share my core relational building blocks for showing up authentically, being in a community of support and finding those who are like-minded and like hearted.

Not sure if this Coffee Chat is for you? Keep reading below for the 5 Barriers to Connection we talk about most often at Heartspace Rising…along with some possibilities for overcoming them. If any of these resonate, you’ll want to join us for that coffee!

1. Lack of Energy

Barrier: Too drained to nurture relationships.

Sounds like: “I’m too drained to nurture relationships. I don’t have the energy for this.”

Possibility: Start small with low-pressure social activities.

How this shows up in my life: As an introvert, it takes extra energy for me to get ready to engage in a larger group gathering. When I am feeling drained, I know myself well enough to seek 1:1 connection with a friend like coffee or lunch instead of showing up to a large group. The next time you are invited to a big gathering that feels out of sync with your energy, try declining that invitation, and seek out a more intimate connection instead.

2. Lack of Courage

Barrier: Hesitant to share real self.

Sounds like: “I’m hesitant to share my real self and be who I really am.”

Possibility: Focus on common interests rather than self-judgment.

How this shows up in my life: In order to build up my reserves of courage, I keep my focus on the things that prime me for socializing like exercising and being outdoors in nature. These activities bring me so much joy and open my heart in preparation for connection with others. So often getting outside is my first step, just like a flower that feels closed and needs to turn towards the sunlight (metaphorically speaking)…AND some days I actually do need more sunlight to boost my biochemistry. Taking care of myself first always fills my tank of courageousness to fuel my efforts in showing up to connect with others wholeheartedly.

3. Lack of Safe Space

Barrier: Lack of vulnerable bonding places.

Sounds like: “There are no safe spaces for forging vulnerable bonds.”

Possibility: Seek small groups or networking communities that feel supportive.

How this shows up in my life: In my line of work I receive frequent invitations to join women's circles and similar kinds of interest-group gatherings. I always ask a lot of questions first to get a temperature check on the vibe of the group. If I do decide to join or show up, I stay very private and quiet with what really matters to me unless I know there are some guiding values, principles and agreements to keep that container a safe space. You might try that the next time you join a new group—there is no pressure to share everything on the first day. Take your time being a fly on the wall. You can still participate with active listening.

4. Lack of Shared Values

Barrier: Wary of wasting time with values misalignment.

Sounds like: “I don’t want to invest any more time only to find out that their values don’t align.”

Possibility: Jot down a list of your core values and trust that there are others who share these, too.

How this shows up in my life: I resonate the most with people when I can freely share all of who I am, and I do not need to filter my perspectives and beliefs. This does not mean I am only friends with people in that "bubble" - I definitely have friends with different beliefs, but it’s always easier coming together with those individuals with whom I share a “values language.” For example, as a woman business owner, it’s easiest for me to connect with other women on the road of entrepreneurship (or aspiring to become entrepreneurs!), because I have a personal understanding of both the triumphs and challenges along the way. Honestly, it's just much more relaxing on my nervous system to be with people who are like-minded as well as like-hearted.

5. Lack of Social Skills

Barrier: No relationship building experience.

Sounds like: “No one ever taught me how to build relationships.”

Possibility: Seek out community like Heartspace Rising where these skills are taught.

How this shows up in my life: When I attend a new social gathering, the level of social skills in the participants and moderators becomes clear quite quickly. Within the first few minutes, I can start to feel drained at the lack of authenticity and heart-centered-ness. I lose interest early on when it becomes yet another surface level social gathering. I resist the urge to judge, however. Like all skills, social skills must be taught intentionally, and so many of us either haven’t had formal training in social skill building or we didn’t have access to formative relationships to model highly developed levels of social skill. My fine-tuned awareness of and sensitivity towards the rampant lack of social skills in our culture inspired me to leverage my unique perspective on relationship-building in all Heartspace Rising programming—especially our Play Ground Love signature group coaching series.

What about you? Which of these 5 barriers to connection resonated the most? How does this play out in your life? Did one of these stand out to you as a barrier on your path to cultivating authentic connections? Which of the possibilities for overcoming the obstacles feel most doable for you to implement?

As you head into this brand new year considering the types of connections you’re looking to make, I hope you’ll remember that Heartspace Rising is always here for you as a resource for turning that desire into your new reality. When we’re in the practice of identifying and naming the barriers we encounter on our way to connection, and when we’re supported by a caring network of women who have our backs, we never have to navigate any step of this journey alone. We can bear in mind that everyone we encounter is coming up against their own barriers on the journey to connection, and, from this mindset of spacious awareness, empathy, and compassion, we can do the work of the Relationship Renaissance together—in 2024…and beyond.

That Coffee Chat on January 26th is starting to sound really enticing, isn’t it? We’ll mix in some music, community discussion, and chances to connect, too. You'll leave energized with a new sense of connection, clarity around your biggest connectivity challenge, one doable step toward the relationships you desire, and so much more. If you ache for more support in 2024, take this one small (but brave!) step. My community Heartspace Rising can help you call in your people this year!

Make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter mailing list to get all the details. Send me a message here so that I can save your spot for the Coffee Chat!

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If you love this blog post, my ebook, and want to go deeper, I invite you to learn more about my signature group coaching program Play Ground Love. It’s an 8-week group program of coaching and transformation. The next cohort kicks off in February 2024!

LEARN MORE HERE